Self-care is the rage these days. The amount of attention to this topic in women’s magazine suggests that personal neglect is a common problem. The conversation among women is that it’s not only OK, but necessary to take time out for themselves. But exactly how do you start self-care activities?
Nuturer 101
This is a hot topic. Women are do busy taking care of everyone else that they forget about the importance of a self-care practice. Traditional gender roles identified for women are nurturers and care-givers. They are frequently the assigned GPS problem solving destination for their families and friends. Many embrace this gender role wholeheartedly, but there can be a price.
Making people happy is a great life mission for those you love, but not if it leaves you with chronic fatigue and exhaustion. Women’s gender role in society supports being kind, considerate, to think of others, and to offer help at all times. It assumed that woman are in nurturers. It’s hard for many to nurture themselves. When time is taken to do something nice for themselves it is viewed as a “treat,” something defined as self-indulgent. Self-care activities are often preprogrammed to trigger feeling of guilt.
Identifying Your Energy Gas Guzzler
Endless caregiving duties can cause chronic fatigue and exhaustion. This mental state of feeling overwhelmed can easily foster an inclination for personal neglect. There is just no energy left in the gasoline tank for anything else. Tiredness makes it is easy for caregivers to overlook their self-care and personal needs. The images we see of women in the media support this role of a nurturing mother, meal preparer, and the person totally responsible for the welfare of others. Those who are set boundaries are depicted as mean, self centered and selfish.
The female image as nurturer often translates into a disadvantage in the competitive world of work. Their gender based strengths such as empathy, patience, and the ability to build consensus are not equally rewarded. This preconceived gender expectations are complicated by communication differences. The workplace often views the their communication of emotion as a loss of personal control. often interpreted as a character weakness. This allows their self-care conversations to be minimized
Nurturing You
Self-care starts by setting boundaries with others. This type of high stakes communication is often expressed with emotion which reduces its seriousness. The person is instantly viewed as having a loss of control. Being emotional can be viewed as a setback which can trigger paralyzing bouts of negative self-talk, personal failure and incompetence. A woman who cries in the workplace can suffer indelible damage to her reputation. Tears can be associated with a wide range of emotional expression from anger, joy or loss all which can be misinterpreted as a vulnerability.
Women are hardwired to feel things deeply, with emotions. The ability to adopt a self care practice requires the ability to navigate through uncomfortable feelings in response to change. Setting limits is often the first step to nourish you. Unless you embrace the power of your female brain, feeling emotional can easily trigger self-doubt, feelings of shame and derail a self-care action plan.
The gender roles and responsibilities for women are complex. A happy life suggest adopting a personal maintenance plan for your life balance mediated by self-care. So how do you keep your emotions in check while making changes to move forward? The first step is to be mindful that emotions are to be understood and not feared moving forward.
Please note: This blog is for information and educational purposes only. It is not meant to be substitute for medical advice. If you need treatment advice for medical illness, please seek the help from your mental health provider.