Are you comfortable saying “no”? This word is considered to be one of the most powerful in the world. Nonetheless, it is without question the most underused command. The word is very simple, with only two letters of the alphabet, yet it can be challenging to verbalize. It seems that setting restrictions and barriers by making use of this word is difficult. Just thinking about saying it can be a source of overwhelming stress. Those who are prewired for mood fluctuations can experience saying “no” with significant discomfort.
Why? Saying “no” becomes overwhelming when mood is out of control. Those who struggle with mood, thoughts and behavior are often unable to successfully negotiate situations that involve conflict. Setting boundaries with someone can be a highly emotional and not desirable. Supportive tools for this situation is always in demand. Saying “no” is just stressful!
Why? Below are three roadblocks to saying the word “no” in everyday life.
First – The desire to be popular
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel great about yourself? It is normal to conceal your inner insecure self. Often the internal demons of vulnerability and low self-confidence can prevail. Asserting oneself with the “no” word can stir the pot of insecurity. Instantly, just like a knee-jerk, the likelihood of strife or criticism after saying “no” can cause discomfort. Who wants to feel terrible? Nobody!
Others need a guarantee of approval and applaud for their efforts. People have their own agendas. There is no guarantee that others will recognize your efforts. It is difficult to say “no” regardless of the fact that the choice to do so is painful, when your self-esteem is in the hands of another. No is no! The dictionary states that “no” is an English word defined to be a negative response. Low self-esteem and self-confidence are recognized culprits, which can easily limit your ability to express your needs.
Second – Making Life Changes is Scary
Life is complicated! It can be a lot easier if you have no expectations with change. People simply can mess you up, so, why bother attempting to change their attitudes? The world is full of haters and bullies. These individuals with volcano personalities can ruin your day! Therefore, it seems easier to go along with them because saying “no” can increase their rage and personal attacks. In this case, assuming the role of a doormat appears to be easier, even though it hurts.
Third – The “No” Agenda
The word “no” is a complete sentence of communication. Saying the word can be stressful, but can also provide opportunities for personal development. Brilliant minds enlighten others on a daily basis; however, their light is clouded by the haziness of self-doubt. Saying “no” can be the opportunity to redefine your life’s path.
Effective Communication Decision
You have the right to be at peace with yourself. Verbalizing a “yes” when you are feeling a “no” can be the source of inner turmoil. Replaying your conflictual decision to say “yes” often interferes with your life. Obsessing about this situation decision carries a personal cost.
Sometimes you have to agree to disagree with the conflict. Especially, if there is no opportunity for agreement. If, despite your best efforts, you still feel out of control and overwhelmed by the inability to set limits, own it. Seeking help when feeling emotionally stuck is your wellness option.
Seeking help is healthy! Discuss the issue with your mental health professional, health expert, or coach to assist you. Supported action to say “no” in stressful life situations can be a powerful first step in your life’s journey.